Another Year, Another Time to Try Again.

I came to the realisation the other week that while I'm miserable and hate my working conditions and my family sitch, I don't need to make it worse on myself by also making myself miserable about my size and the fact that I don't fit into my clothes.  In fact, out of the big 3, this is the one I have the most control of.  So I should control it, and be responsible for it. 

I'm gonna get a hold of this eating sensibly and moving meaningfully business.  

I've started relogging in my MFP diary, and I sat down this weekend to foodplan what I was going to eat for each meal & when I was going to cook what. 
     Not gonna lie, it took a while.
   
Thinking about what I wanted when was time consuming.
     I had trouble thinking so far ahead to Thursday & Friday.  I wrote the meal plan out on a sheet of paper, with a basic idea of what I was going to eat for breakfast, morning tea, lunch & dinner.  For example, tonight for dinner I am having tortellini with a spinach based pasta sauce.  I sat down and planned out (as best I could) for a whole week in advance.  Probably took me over 60 minutes.  I got distracted or frustrated along the way too.
     Writing the specific details into my (paper) food diary wasn't too bad.  That only took about 15 minutes for the whole week, given I had to flip back and forth between pages as I realised that I would need to create a recipe for the green sauce, so I needed to list the ingredients for that.  I keep a paper food diary in a notebook so I have somewhere to write down how much everything weighs.  This is especially useful for when I am creating my own recipes and I don't measure out my quantities in something as arbitrary as 'cups' when the food I am eating isn't liquid, like a stir-fry.
     I would love to know how people know how many cups of food they've cooked without ladelling their whole dish from one container to another 1 cup at a time.  For me it's easier to create a 'recipe' listing the raw weights of the ingredients, weigh the whole thing when it's finished, and then create portions based on 100g serving sizes.  Then, when I do weigh out how much I've eaten, like 335g, I know it's 3.35 servings.    I find it a quicker process.
     It was entering everything in advance in MFP that was trying.  Nearly 1.5 hours to enter a week's worth of logging in advance.  I did it though, so that when it came time to log the weight, I could save time during the week, by already having the ingredients/foods already entered and I wouldn't have to search for everything.  It was quicker on my phone too, than the webpage.  Recipes were easier to do on the computer, but everything else went through the phone. 

On Saturday I went to a butcher to get quality mince and chicken breasts.  I shopped at a Fruit & Vege grocer first, before going to Coles to get everything else I needed.  For the first time in a while, I set myself a food budget, and I think I stuck to it.  <--- This is another much needed motivation.  I was finding myself going through Drive-throughs and spending $20-25 for a meal, sometimes three times a week.  I don't have that much free money to just throw away. 

I decided to join MFP's April 2016 Running Challenge.

I have never really paid attention to how much I walk in a month, so I set myself a fairly low goal of walking 30 km this month (~18mi).  I'm trying for consistency more than I am concentrating on distance.

I always start out with good intentions, and walk 2-3 days in a row, and then... fizzle.  I get lazy.  Or find excuses like I don't have time, or I'm tired.  I'm trying to tackle that by taking the time to evaluate: am I physically tired, or mentally tired? Because there is definitely a difference and I need to work on recognising that, and not letting it get in my way.

I'm re-evaluating my goals.  I'm currently at 110kg and I wanted my first goal weight to be 90kg because that's the BMI cutoff between being obese and merely overweight.  I've stepped it back a fair bit and am going for 105kg, because that becomes the distinction between Obese Class II and Obese Class I.  I'll look into setting myself 5kg goals after that.

I've also measured 7 points around my body to keep a track of too, because it's not really about weight for me.  I honestly couldn't care if the scales said 400kg! It's the fact that I don't fit into clothes that really gets me down.  So taking (and writing down!) those measurements and entering them into my spreadsheet is going to happen the first Monday of every month.  I won't share them publicly I think, but I will be graphing them to see what happens.

Gogglebox

I watched that (newish) show on Thursday night called Gogglebox.   Hilarious!  Going to be part of my regular weekly viewing, hands down!

Basically it's a reality TV show, where 10 households are filmed while they're watching television.  They're all told what shows to watch, and the reactions to what they are watching are edited and shown.  Priceless!  There are families, couples and flatmates.  It's really cool to see 1 - how other people watch telly and 2 - how other people talk and comment on what they've seen.  I think it's great because I was watching it and thinking they are so Australian.  The reactions they have to things are are brilliant.  Unfortunately I'm trying to think of an example and I can't quite think of one.  Most of the people featured swear a lot, which suits me.  I'm a big fan of curse words; I use them fairly liberally myself.  There's a swear jar at work just for me.  :-/  But back to the show: it's those throw away comments and one-liners.  It's the randomness.  I need to get to somewhere with free wifi and catch up on the first 6 episodes I think!!

**

I did end up going for that walk on Friday afternoon.  2.4km (1.5mi).  I'm relatively happy with that.  Although it did make me start coughing again.  : S

I need to plan out food that I am going to make for the upcoming week, and workout my schedule/routine for the new few months until my next holidays,  I'm always leaving everything until the holidays, and then when the holidays come around, I waste them.  Like all this last week, I've been meaning to call the tax department.  Have I though?  Not a chance.

There's also organising a doctor's appointment, dentist appointment, plumber, fixing a bookcase (that I've been meaning to do since I moved in 2.5 years ago!),  repainting, replanting, changing over clothes and bedding to a winter wardrobe.  And maybe donate some things that I've been meaning to donate.

I also got it into my head that I want to buy some lino or vinyl to line my kitchen cupboards.  It was exit-cleaning my best friend's rental over the New Year that gave me the idea.  Her kitchen cupboards were lined and it made it so fantastically easy to clean.  They weren't even her idea, they were already in the house when she moved in.  I had been meaning to do it ever since then, but put it off because I knew it would be a tedious task to measure every cupboard to work out how much I would need.  But when I got back on Tuesday, I opened a cupboard to discover a tin of fruit (that, to be fair, I'd had for a fair few number of years) must have rusted through because there was a dark syrupy type substance on the shelf.  So I after I cleaned it up, I figured that it was no time like the present to organise and look for some lino/vinyl for my shelves.

In fact, I may as well do it for all the shelves in the house - my wardrobe shelf is not very smooth and occaisionally my clothes catch on in.  I originally taped down some butchers' paper, but I think lino may go much nicer.  I want to get some of a decent thickness that won't slide around.  Otherwise there's no point is there?

It's Friday already? Oh dear...

So I started the week with a renewed sense of wanting to get fit, organised and healthy.

I went for a 25 minute walk on Tuesday morning.  I planned to go as soon as I got up, but it was around 9:00am before I left the house.  Nearly 2 hours later!!  Mind you, it's the first time I have undertaken any form of exercise in weeks.  Possibly since January to be honest?   It's not surprising then I felt out of it for the remainder of the day.  I split my time between the sofa and my bed.

I still managed to do a bit of washing up, but I also spent a lot of time just kicking back in the air-con (yes!, April and I still have the air-conditioner running some days - it's just that hot).  That's when I wrote the other blog post.  Felt slow and dopey all the rest of the day.

In fact, I kind of felt achy and my skin was tender - like I was coming down with something.  I was originally planning to walk to the shops (1.6km/1 mi each way) to pick up a few things like chicken drumsticks to make chicken soup.  And tomato juice. But I piked out and ended up driving.  And I'm glad I did.  Because when I crave tomato juice, it means I'm getting sick.  A cold or virus.  Urgh!  Just what I don't want when I'm on holiday.  So I made chicken soup with LOTS of vegetables and garlic.  And drank nearly a two litres of liquids before bed.

It helped.  I woke up Wednesday feeling better.  WAY less achy, but with a minor sore throat.  I decided to go for a walk anyway because I figured that a short bout of exercise could only help to boost my immune system.  25 minutes again.

This time, I felt a bit more motivated and later that morning I walked to my nearest hardware store to buy a hose.  I don't own one anymore, and I decided that I really needed to wash out my wheelie bin and my kitchen bin.  So it's easiest to do that in the backyard with the hose.  Especially as Wednesday is bin day, so it was "freshly" emptied.  So that is one of my (many!) holiday jobs done.

I've since spent the rest of the week doing nothing but lounge on the sofa and either be on my laptop or playing games on my phone.  Physically I'm still going back and forth between being better and worse.

For instance, last night I felt really full of phlegm and mucous, and this morning woke with a pretty horrid sore throat.  Gargled salt water, had a few cups of strong black tea with honey.  And am feeling much perkier. I've not got a runny or blocked nose and for that I am incredibly thankful.  Sinus infections just seem to drag on forever don't they?  But I have been coughing a bit.  A wet cough.  *Gross out warning*  I've been coughing up a lot of mucous, but it has only seemed to reach the top of my throat and then I've swallowed it again.  This morning I was finally able to cough some up and spit it out.  Gross I know, but as soon as I did that, I've started to feel better.  

Hmm.... I think I need to leave the house this afternoon and go for at least a small walk.  25-30 minutes like I have been doing.  Try to motivate me again to keep up some momentum.  And plan out what I am going to do with the rest of my weekend.  So I actually stick to it.

Quick thoughts

Now that I'm back home I need to get into the logging habit again.  Slowly but surely, right? 

Already started one good thing when yesterday I ate my portion for dinner... and that was all. ☺  I was about to go and get more food but then I stopped myself.  I self-talked and questioned whether I was really hungry and could I not just let it be for once.  
Now the trick is to make it not just "for once" but for twice, for three times, four times...

Exercising has really been my mainstay.   I've been getting up early nearly every morning.  I skipped yesterday morning because it was raining.  In fact, it was raining this morning too.  But I didn't realise that until I was outside.  It was only a light dusting of precipitation.   If it were 20°C colder, it would have been the nicest lightest snowfall... * sigh*  I miss snow.  Anyhow.  It was light rain when I left the house. Ten minutes into my walk and it became a fraction heavier.  A steady drizzle.  It was heavy enough to be noticeable but too light to bother turning back.

This morning I also did 20 sit-ups for the first time since I don't know when.

☆   ☆   ☆

I mentioned last week I was starting to go through and sort my clothes.  Well, I decided to keep on going and unpack some of the boxes that were still in my bedroom.  I managed to knock through 2 of the big "wardrobe" size boxes yesterday.  Some things that were in there, were packed away in 2011.  I found so much stationery that I bought: pens, textas, highlighters, notebooks, staplers, scissors, erasers, sharpeners, display folders... so. much. stationery...  !!

I also found my sewing machine, my telescope and my exercise mat amongst all the other things.  So, with the duel benefit of having cleared space on the floor (by unpacking two boxes) I also thought I'd start some sit ups again.

So after getting back from my walk this morning, I talked myself into some sit ups.

I'm going to try and make it another daily habit.  I am sure I have said this before, but I think the sit ups help with how much my stomach hangs out from my body.  It's probably really stupid, but I really do think that when I do sit ups, the muscles of my gut get stronger and are more able to hold my tummy in.  In fact when I suck my gut in, even right now at my current size, I can almost fool myself into thinking that it is not so bad. I'm willing to leave the house looking like I do, as long as I concentrate on keeping my gut sucked in. Next Monday when I do photos again for progress I'll do contrast of stomach muscles relaxed versus tensed.  I'll bet there's a difference.

These boots are made for walking

So this week has been better mental health-wise and food wise.  I've actually stuck to my food plan and have eaten lunch everyday at lunch time.  (The emphasis is necessary!).  There have been a few not so great food choices in there too, like a 5-pack of Tim-Tams, but that was on Thursday, and it fit with my calories, as you'll see below.

In terms of exercise, well... not much.  No swimming, no zumba, no couch to 5k.  :(  I was not able to get up early and exercise in the morning, simply due to my doona being far too comfy.  Mmmmmm : ).  I did however walk out of my way a little in the past few days.

I dropped off my car for servicing on Wednesday afternoon (yes!  I finally managed to get that organised! : D ).  I purposely chose the dealership only so I could walk home!  I managed to rack up an extra 4.2 km to my day by doing that.  And saved money by not going through public transport.  Brisbane happens to have some of the highest public transport fares in the world (so I've been told).  If I had chosen to walk the 1km/10min to the train station, and caught the train home, I would have travelled ONE station, b/c my station is the first on that suburban line, and I would have had to pay $3.53.  To travel 4minutes?  No thanks, I'd rather walk the 40 minutes instead!

This also meant that on Thursday, I walked to work (35minutes) and walked from work to where I dropped off my car (~45min).  I actually kind of enjoyed doing that, because I ended up walking paths where there were a lot of other people who walk as their commute.  I felt so cool, because I was walking like everybody else.  I work just outside the CBD, but still within inner city boundaries, so there's tons of people walking for commute.  If at anytime I felt tired or like I should have taken up the offer of the bus or taxi, I just reminded myself that thousands of people do this everyday.  And it does them no harm. 

Makes me want to try and recommence walking to work everyday again. 

Well okay, let's be realistic here.  Maybe like, twice a week! :)

So, what now?

So, what's next?

I ran my 5k on the weekend, what do I do now?

Well, at this stage, I have no other events I am entered into.  I've been thinking about the 5km NEON Run in October, which is a night event, kind of a 5km-disco-nightclub type event.  It sounds like it's going to be a lot of fun.  I had been thinking about it last year, but hemmed and hawed and missed it.  It's for one of my favourite charities, Beyond Blue.  Australia's national initiative to raise awareness of anxiety and depression.  I think the work they do is fantastic and so, so, so important.

After the B2B, I'd been spending most of the afternoon, whilst recovering, looking up other 5km events that are occurring this year.  There are still a few more coming up, so I am starting to put together a list of dates and costs.  More to come on that L8R (later).

I'm also counting down the days to when the swimming pool at work re-opens.  I have access to a 25m pool outside of work hours.   Cannot wait until the covers come off and the pool is cleaned and treated and ready for use again.  Even though I didn't swim as much this past summer (2013/14) as much as the summer before (2012/13), for the past two months or so I've been really missing swimming.  A lot.  So much so that while I am waiting for the work pool to be ready, I might (if I have time, the next two weeks are really busy!) duck into the council pool to have a swim.

I think at this stage I have two goals I want to accomplish.

1. To complete Couch to 5k and run 5km by the end of the year
2. To swim 1km non-stop by the end of the year.

Now, I haven't run them through SMART yet to see if they are reasonable/achievable goals, but they are what I want.  

• I'm already making progress on being able to run 5km.  

• When I was swimming in 2012/13, I was swimming around about 700m each session, three times a week.  

Given that I have been working on exercises that are more aerobic in nature (running & Zumba), I'm keen to see the effect that it will have on my swimming ability.  I've been (hopefully) building the muscles in my legs by running, so my kicks should be stronger.  And Zumba & running should be improving my cardio & lung function so I won't get as out of breath as quickly.

I'll be back with another post soon, ~2weeks and let you know my plans for getting there.

Oh!  And probably up date my weight & measurements!  : )

Quick check-in!

Hi there!
Quick check-in from me.

This morning I ran in the Bridge to Brisbane fun-run.  It has a 10km and 5km course, and I ran the 5km.  I say ran, but really, it was more of a jog.  In intervals.

When I entered (back in June) I was planning on completing the Couch to 5k program.  Well, I started, but then got waylaid.  I hadn't actually made it past Week 3.  Such a shame.  However, I took what I learnt from that and tried to run in interval fashion.  I decided, when I entered, to take my chances on entering into the 'Joggers' category as opposed to the 'Walkers' category.  The Joggers were meant to finish <45min.  (Runners <30min).  I actually got rather worried about that because I hadn't finished my C25K training, I was worried that I would take longer than 45minutes and I'd be disqualified.

Turns out, after emailing the organisers, it's not a <45min but more ~45min.  <Rolls eyes>.  Urgh... being a maths person, those terms are pretty darn concrete.  LESS THAN is not the same as AROUND/ABOUT/APPROX.  Grrrr.....

My biggest worry was that I wouldn't finish in the time I was meant to for my category.  I actually felt really anxious and keyed up about it before the race.  I have to wonder if I felt nervous/worried in my other races or more excited?  On reflection, I can't recall.  I want to keep an eye out on it though for next time.

So anyhow, ran the race this morning, not all at once, broke it into to walk/jog intervals.  Think I managed to jog the whole 1st kilometre!  After that, I ran to music, making sure I ran for the duration of an entire song - those with pumping jams at least.  I think it helped, because I ran faster when I was running along to music.

And.... drumroll please.....

My official finishing time was......



UNDER 45 MINUTES?!?!?  Wahoo!!  I'm so very excited about that, yay!

 *yawn*

Aaaaaaanad... I guess the toils of the day are starting to take affect (effect?) on me.  Time I think to heat up some dinner (Rich beef casserole) and curl up on the couch with some TV.  It's my plan, and I like it : )

An update – what I’ve done, what I’m going to be doing

Okay, I did mention last post that my posting is sporadic, and I would try to update again soon(ish). A month later and here we are.

So, my previous update was in late March.

Early April I bought a fitbit.  I own a fitbit One and I think it’s great.  I really enjoy using it and seeing every day just how active or inactive I am.  The days when I am not at work, I tend to be really, really inactive.  I barely make 5,000 steps those days.  So it motivates me on really lazy days when I’ve been on the couch all day to at least get out in the afternoon and take a 3km walk.  Along the same routes that I took earlier this year when I was going for a walk every morning.  

In June I was particularly busy:

I did (for the second year) the 14km City2South funrun (15^th June).  I walked it, because that’s pretty much all I was capable of.  My goal was to finish faster than last year. 

If you recall, my last years’ time was 2:44:24.  An average pace of 11:44min/km. 

 
This year I managed to finish in…

Time, time, time; see what's become of me

Hi there!

Yes, I disappeared again.  

And it is for the obvious reason you assume – where I stopped caring, so I stopped trying, so I stopped eating good food and I stopped exercising, so I stopped logging food and exercise, so I stopped blogging about it.

I gained some weight back.  I was hovering around 98kg last time I blogged.  Nearly back at my starting weight!! Now, I’m closer to 102kg.  But that’s okay.  It’s not way up there near my all-time high - 108kg - it's just not where I want to be.  But, as I keep saying, “I can change that”.  And I do.  And I’m getting there slowly.  It’s lots of small steps forward, baby steps back, stumble forward again. 

What can I say, but that it is a work in progress?  I’m trying to instil new habits.  Some are sticking; some are slowly sliding off the wall like blu-tack in the summer.  

Something which seems to have stuck is waking up and getting out of bed every morning at 5am, when my alarm goes off.  As opposed to sleeping through it for the next hour & half.  I’m not a morning person. I never have been.  But, I do see the benefit of getting up early of a morning.  I seem to be able to get more done in my day when I’m up early.  And, I’d like to point out that it’s winter here, so getting out of bed when it’s dark and cold is not easy.  But, I’ve been able to do it.  For almost three months now I think?  Even when I’ve stayed away from home, I’ve been able to do it consistently.  

I also eat pretty much the same breakfast everyday now, and I make it the night before.  It’s my yoghurt-porridge thing.  “Overnight Oats” I think is the prevailing phrase on pinterest.

Not much else seems to have stuck.  Trying to get more fruit & vege in my day.  Trying to get enough water in my day.  Trying to get a chance to actually sit and eat during the day.  Trying to exercise everyday.  *Shrugs*  Gotta keep working on all of that.  

It all seems to come down to time, not having enough and not managing well the time that I do have.  And I think that’s one of the main factors that has influenced how I approach this blog and this weightloss/healthiness malarkey.  I struggle big time to fit some of the ‘basics’ in every day.  Eg: Food journaling - then logging in MFP, exercising – then loading that into Nike+, Daily weighing – then filing out my spreadsheet, or weightgrapher app… and so on.  I know that technically I don’t need to do all that, but when I do, it’s a system that works.  I’ve found that just simply writing my food down, without logging it, isn’t enough.  It doesn’t make that much of an impact to just see the food written on my page – I need to see the numbers to see if I’m going over or not.

And with time being my biggest factor, I think I have to be honest and say this: if it comes down to a choice between
                a) taking the time to do something about getting healthier, or
                b) write about what I’m going to do/have been doing…
I think actions need to speak louder than words.   

And so I haven’t blogged.  I’ve been doing some stuff – a fair bit, now that I think about it – but I haven’t taken the time to stop and think and write.

I’m going to keep this blog and keep updating it, however I dare say my posting will continue to be sporadic and filled with empty gaps.  I’ll more than likely only fill in what I have done in bursts and in the past tense.  I can fill you in, in a follow up post, what I have been doing and what my plans for the next little bit are… and that might be the last you hear of me for another month or so.

If you can put up with that, then I thank-you for your comments, encouragement and support.  If you feel you need to leave, then by all means, I wish you well.