Monday, 22 December 2014

The Purge - part 4

So, over the past few days I decided to tackle my clothes.  

I’ve discussed how I find it hard to get rid of things.  That I have strong memories and attachments to my possessions.  To a certain extent, never is this truer than with my clothes.  I love clothes, I really do.  One of my career aspirations when I was a young lass was to be a fashion designer.  And because I have strong memory associations with my clothes, I found it very hard to cull and get of things.   
Even things that I wasn’t sure I would ever wear again. 

The problem was I could remember wearing them, and what went along with that.  I could picture myself standing in the precise spot in my room as I chose that piece to wear.  Every item I picked up, reminded me of people or events.  “Oh, that’s right, I wore that when…” or “that’s the night I met…” or “… always loved this skirt”.  Even other associated events leading up to or after the time I wore that outfit.  One dress that I own, a black lacy thing I got as a Xmas present from my mum when I was 17.  It was my first LBD.  I have a very strong memory of when I was in my second year of uni.  It was March, and I decided I was going to wear it for a friend’s birthday party at a nightclub on Friday night.  I knew which shoes, earrings and make-up I was going to do.  Hair up.  (I went with a gold accessories theme.  I even had gold eyeliner!).  Because the dress had a lyrca liner, it was clingy.  I’ve always been pot-bellied/pear shaped, not much I can do about that.
Except sit ups.

For the two weeks leading up to the party, I was in my room, doing situps right before bed.  I can picture myself laying on the floor, the overhead light was off, but the lamp on my desk was on, illuminating my room.  I remember doing 40 (40!) situps and struggling with the last 2-3.  I remember doing them much slower, and that intense muscle feeling of the slow crunches. 
I remember the small turn out at the club, the drinks I had that night, who I danced with, and going home alone.  My friend whose birthday it was hooked up though – woo! Go him ;-)


I remember faintly other times I wore that dress, but that memory is the strongest to me.  So of course, I don’t want to get rid of that dress, because it reminds me just how much fun I can have with friends.  And I stupid sentimental (or maybe just mental) part of me doesn’t want to get rid of it yet, because I want to know how I will look in it when I do get back to 68kg.  I’m having a hard time telling myself to get rid of it before hand, because I won’t truly know if I will wear it again until I get back to that size.


Obviously, that line of thinking was going to get me nowhere.  So I somewhat comprised.  I took those giant plastic shopping bags – you know the ones that are very square when they are full?  With a zip? And I designated one for each size category.  Only what was in there would I keep.

I had to be little bit sneaky with the 12/14 because I had so many that I wanted to hold onto.  Casual wear, going out clothes, smart casual, fancy dress and costumes and most important – smart dressy clothes for work.  Skirts and button through shirts and dress slacks.  All the classy elegant things I would love to wear to work, but just don’t work now at my size.  Things that would make me look the part and fit in a little better with how our general director wants us to dress. Things that are made of cotton and require ironing. : D   Anyhow, because they were the clothes that I had the most of, I cheated a little bit and put some of the smaller ones into the 8/10/12 bag.  And then I used some vacuum storage bags for the rest of it.  And I mean, I did think about some things as I was packing them in.  Like do I need a red jumper (long sleeves), red jumper (elbow sleeves), red knit vest (external pullover vest, not undergarment vest), red 7/8 sleeve t-shirt, red short sleeve t-shirt and a red “falsey” jumper – the ones with a fake button shirt under them?  They just have the collar and cuffs of the shirt sticking out.  The rest is just the jumper.  [Oh!  A jumper is also known as a pullover, or a sweater.]  I don’t even wear red very often because it clashes with my skin tone.  I questioned what I was doing as I sat them together in the one pile.   But I put them in to save because, how am I to know what colour will be in fashion and whether I’ll even like those things when I get to that weight? 

As I said, I love clothes.  I also happen to be one of those people that have a huge variety of clothes, depending on mood.  And I wear colours daily.  I’ve had numerous people comment on the fact that I always wear bright colours.  I would probably go as far as to say I think my clothes are the type that people describe as “loud”.   Attempted a monotone wardrobe once.  Couldn’t make it more than 6 days before I caved and wore something with bold patterns.  My bestie on the other hand?  Black, offwhite/cream, occasionally red, and a very particular shade of bluey-teal.  She’s starting to introduce a light baby pink in the last 18 months.  That’s it.  That’s all she’s got.  Her mum and I have tried over the years to bring in other colours or styles, but it just doesn’t stick very long.  Lol.  Kind of opposites there huh?  : )

Well, anyhow.  Sorting out my clothes is a big job.  One I’m still working on.  And I think it’s going to have to wait until I get back from Xmas break, because today I need to go to the shops to get my last minute Christmas gifts and tomorrow, I’m driving to Mum’s for Christmas.  Should prove interesting.

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